Perceptions

I was looking at the pictures of my stint in Montreal and a picture that I took in Ottawa struck me. It reminded me of the short conversation I had with Hadi and Ust Hannan just before I took that picture.It was a picture of the sun. I was looking at it and I was amazed by the rainbow rings that I saw emanating from the sun. So I asked both Hadi and Ust Hannan if they saw what I saw. They didn’t cos this is what they saw..

and so I was wondering, that is not possible because we are looking at the same sun and this is what I saw..

I only realised my error when Hadi said, “cermin mata kau tu.. mestilah kau nampak lain” (your specs.. of course you see it different).

This is a classic example of how we sometimes view things differently from others. Same thing, different lenses and voila different results.

And this post shall be about perceptions and views and to whose views are we subscribing to and should we subscribe to.

In my conversations with members of Sekapur Sirih we realise that most of the time we subscribe, consciously or not, to perceptions and views of people who do not exactly appreciate and understand the context of the things they problematise. It is only then that we begin to realise the conscious need to move away from whatever dominant ideas that are prevalent and to give a fair appraisal of the issue at hand.

We are, whether fairly or not, ‘forced’ to subscribe to certain views and perceptions for the fear of us being the ‘Other’. One example that I would like to bring up would be the view that the Westerners have with regards to the hudud laws that Muslims have. To these Westerners, the hudud laws are barbaric, uncivilised and inhumane as this directly transgresses the Western view of humanity and civility. Without fully understanding (or choosing to ignore) the context or the reasons as to why the hudud laws are present, these Orientalist writers condemn the Muslim law as it differs from their conception of law. Worse, when Muslims themselves subscribe to this view without understanding their own religion.

One needs to understand that hudud laws are not meant to punish but rather to act as a deterrent towards an act of evil. And hudud is so specific that it only applies to those that are explicitly mentioned in the Quran. Anything beyond that would fall into the category of ta’zir. Also, the most important thing about hudud is that it is extremely strict. The different qualifications and characteristics needed for hudud to be passed is extremely stringent to ensure that hudud laws are metted out fairly. It is to ensure that one is not unfairly judged. Thirdly, we need to understand the context of society that needs to be present for hudud laws to be implemented. I sometimes am just puzzled about some Muslims states or parties wanting to implement the hudud laws just because they are seen as an Islamic form of law without even understanding the context of society that needs to be present before the hudud law is implemented. For hudud to be present, the society in itself needs to be just, humane, civil etc. The practice of amar maaruf and nahi mungkar is imbued in the daily lives of the people within society. Neighbours care for one another and feel a duty towards one another, the qadhi is fair, the mufti understands his society, the government is not corrupt, the waqf system is benefitting the poor, the stratification of society does not breed contempt, the rich needs the poor and vice versa, arkanul iman and arkanul Islam is manifested in the lives of the people and many other traits that one might deem to be a ‘utopian’ state of living. However this state of living has already been achieved under the time of the Prophet (pbuh) and his Companions. So the purpose of the hudud is merely a preventive measure as the society will help to correct an offender. Only if he himself confesses to his sins and wishes to be placed under hudud law only will it be served. Even the Prophet (pbuh) himself does not wish to implement hudud all the time for he believes that forgiveness and repentance is more important than punishment. So we now realise, that the hudud laws to a certain extent can be seen as redundant. It is only there as a safe guard measure to ensure that people conform to laws.

The issue at hand is not about hudud per se, but rather about the imposing of Western standards upon us all. And those who do not subscribe to them are seen as ‘deviant’. It is disappointing when one readily accepts the Western view without even a meek attempt at discerning it. What’s worse is this dominant thought that the Western idea is always better than that of a local one. How many of us even know, let alone understand our own local scholars? How many of us who knows, even appreciate their writing or simply discard it as mere trash?

We always need to question, by whose standards are we basing something upon. Problem is, the whole world subscribes to what the Westerners deem as ‘moral standards’. We allow ourselves to be dictated even on our standards and views. The colonisation era may have passed but the colonisation of the mind certainly hasn’t.

IF WE DO NOT DEFINE OURSELVES, THEN OTHERS WOULD DEFINE US! and once we reach that state, everything will be dictated by them.

So we as Muslims cannot afford to perpetually continue the Western view of what Muslims are so that their view does not become dominant. We need to stop with the ‘acts of freedom’ that we feel is right, for what is our ‘freedom fighter’ is their ‘terrorists’. If we continue to do so, we are indeed subscribing to their ideology. In truth we need to understand that we Muslims do not hold the dominant power in the world. We do not dictate the terms, they do it for us. As such we need to realise the need to wake up from our drunken stupor and move on with time. We can no longer afford to react in a ‘radical’(in their terms) manner. What Muslims need to do is to empower ourselves with knowledge and to not allow Western intellectual hegemony to continue defining us.

There is a need to distinguish between anti-Western and anti-secular. Going by my definition of secular being the absence of God, I agree that I am anti-secular. However I am not anti-Western. It is just that I believe a pertinent need to discern certain ideologies and views that have been imposed upon us and then readily accepted by us as we feel that their ideas are ’superior’ compared to our own. It is disheartening to see local scholars who are supposed to understand the context in which society is present continue to subscribe to Western ideas who might not even understand what society goes through.

To sum up,

1. We need to define our standards and not readily allow the imposition of other people’s standards

2. The empowerment of knowledge. Muslims need to be educated and introduced to the different ideas present and formulate what’s best for Muslims

3. The need to define our Muslim identity and not allow others to dictate that term

4. Muslims need to wake up!

The State of Society

In a not-so-recent discussion with my friends on the current social situation of Singapore, we began to realize that we are treading along the path of destruction. Why destruction? The destruction of the social fabric of society.

It has been reiterated, time and time again, in countless of speeches, over the decades by the different Prime Ministers of Singapore that the survivability of Singapore depends on its economy. That becomes the justification of most of the policies undertaken, the explanation for the rapid industrialisation of Singapore, the obsession and focus on Maths and Science, the sheer capitalistic nature of our society etc2.

And I throw back a question that we all need to ponder. What would be the binding factor for all Singaporeans? If the sole factor of Singapore’s survivability i.e  the economy fails, (which already is looking at the worst showing of the STI index in 6 years) what then keeps us together as Singaporeans? Where is our identity as Singaporeans? As it is, our social fabric is held together by delicate thin strands of threads that threaten to snap under social conditions.

Much as we would like to proclaim that we have matured as a society, we need to relook and justify that claim. Take a look at countries in the West. Countries like the US, UK, France etc whose people are bounded by a common identity. Through crisis and difficulties they stick together and brave the hardship never losing sight of the ideals set by the generation of the forefathers. How many times have the US entered and left crises after crises and their people though at odds in certain ideologies or political leanings stick together as one. Now I am not asking us to emulate in totality the West. I am trying to display that, look, here is a nation bounded by common aims and ideals and see themselves as a single entity.

So what binds us? I shudder to think at what we dare say a common factor that strongly binds us together, that can see us Singaporeans through hardship and tough times. We are a nation, untested, and have so much relied on the Government to bail us out of situations. Much as we would like to say Singaporeans live in harmony, I am more than confident in saying that we are tolerating each other. The fact that we still see ourselves along the racial divide of CMIO is a blatant example of how we have not matured to look beyond skin tones and language. Worse, when leaders of the community and the Government continue to emphasise the differences that we have. That each and everyone of us have to ascribe to be of a certain race.  That we have to always maintain our identity as either Chinese, Malay, Indian or Others. Why can’t we transgress beyond race and religion? Do we not see ourselves as a nation? As a Singaporean? Do we even have to ask the question of who we are? The only solidarity that I commonly see and am extremely elated is when we see ourselves as Singaporeans when we enter the gates of Kallang cheering our national team against arch rivals Malaysia.

Singapore leaders in countless of speeches would always say, “race and religion is something we can never talk about in public. It is a touchy issue that is very emotive in nature. We do not want to see a repeat of 1964 (riots). It is something we would rather keep at bay than allow people to speak freely about it.” It is this condescending attitude that the Government adopt that her people are not yet mature enough to handle such a situation. When you keep harping on a point like this, interminably the portrayal becomes strongly etched in the minds that we as a society would NEVER be able to handle sensitive issues like race and religion MATURELY. A lie told a thousand times becomes the truth. So who is at fault now? The people who is seen as apathetic towards social issues or the Government who reiterates a certain view? Are you people (Government leaders) so untrusting of your people that you have to curtail such discussions? Allow such discussions to be made. Then only will you know if the society has progressed and matured enough to handle sensitive issues. I am absolutely appalled that the Government as much as they claim that they are consulatative in nature adopts the houlier-than-thou attitude that they are the best people who know what’s best for the country and all we need to do is follow.

How different are we now as a democratic nation than an authoritarian regime? The society needs to be challenged. Boundaries  needs to be pushed. How long does it take a wound to heal? Do you think that after 43 years of independence we have not matured just as yet as a society? The people are getting learned. How long more can a charade like this be kept up? 10, 20 years more? History is told in the views of the people who wants it to be told.

I am sure that if this certain part of our history is omitted there wouldn’t be a need to talk about racial divide. It is this mistrust and suspicion between races and between the people and the Government that is leading us to a stalemate. Who benefits from it? I simply can’t fathom the insistence of racially dividing us. This is such a colonial construct. We may be independent physically, but mentally we are still colonised! And our leaders are at the helm of it being so. When the minds of the people are shackled, instead of progress we will regress.

Perception is reality. The perception of the people towards her own leaders are negative. In a country where everything is heavily regulated we are not far from being under the rule of an authoritarian regime. Yes we are democratic. We have elections, we can speak but in what domain? At what cost? There is an apt saying which summarises the perception of the people: “I love my country, but I fear my government.” The reality here is we as a society need to challenge ourselves and if indeed we fail in that test than perhaps more needs to be done for us to progress as a society. We cannot go on forever with the mentality that we would never be able to handle racial and religious issues. That is such a defeatist mentality!

If after 43 years and various policies to create and sustain racial harmony, the Government still views us as not being mature enough to handle such issues, perhaps it is high time such policies are re-thought about. What purpose does it serve if the racial cleavages are only deepened?

As much as the Government tends to give more freedom in speech and constructive criticisms, the domain of politics has always been a taboo. Are our leaders not mature enough to handle criticisms by opposition. Every general election, members of the opposition will constantly find themselves on the wrong side of the law. Defamation suits are thrown against them and sued till they go bankrupt. Now my question is, what is the wisdom of doing so? To show to the people that you are strong enough? To show that if you are against us we will ensure your end? To show that you are intolerable towards criticism? Such is the perception that people have. No matter how much the Government justifies its actions, these are the facts and these are ways in which they are viewed. So what if we have people who throw falls accusations? So what if what they say is untrue. If you hold steadfast to what you have done, there shouldn’t be any worry at all about your credibility as your actions speak louder than their words. Are we such a policing state that we have to punish someone everytime he errs in his judgement against the leaders? Whatever it is, such actions are seen as stifling the voices of the ground. People are afraid of saying things. The fear mentality and climate is there whether you agree or not. If fear is what you intend to achieve then perhaps you have succeeded. But I’m sure that’s not the case. As educated, learned, privileged members of the society, responsible for the community, I’m sure the aims of the Government is to ensure that democracy is upheld. Or is it? What’s worse when such defamation suits emerge during GE and what is the image that is created? That the Government adopts an intolerable, no nonsense approach towards the opposition no matter what.

Can you then call yourself a democracy. Oh you claim that an Asian democracy is different from a Western democracy and that their ideals are not suited for us. What then is Asian democracy? A patriarchal, rigid, regulated, policed, non-tolerant Government who thinks that what they do is right? I am not opposing the Government for I feel that they are getting something right. But there are still many areas for us to improve on. How long more will we go on with this act that our society is young and that we are unable to handle issues? And if so, what gives you the mandate for doing what you do? When a policy is thought of in Parliament it is as good as it being passed. Why? Because, the perception that we have is, when you (Government) want something done it IS to be done.

Just take a look at the IR. Not only were Muslims outraged at that decision, even non-Muslims. People like Minister Gan Kim Yong who feels that the cons outweigh the pros. But what happens? The IR still pushes through. And when the issue of being addicted to gambling arose, the response was to set up clinics to counsel those who might be addicted to gambling. When the simple solution should be not to have an IR. People might chastise me for saying that I am not pragmatic since the IR is a lucrative business. My question is, are we already not doing good enough? Are we really dipping in all industries that we need to tap on the IR to boost revenues? Why are we driven with such capitalistic urges that thrive on wealth? Are there no morals taken into consideration when such a thing is formulated?  

I urge that we Singaporeans come together as a cohesive unit looking beyond our skin colour and faith. We are a unit that live as one. We should ensure that the social fabric is strong enough to support everyone. We need to ensure that even if the economy crumbles, we as a cohesive society will persevere on. And it is about time that the Government no longer looks us with a condescending view that we are immature citizens who cannot be mature enough to handle sensitive issues. Push the boundaries. Test the limits. What doesn’t kill only serves to make us stronger. Why should you fear that we will be disunited if your policies are sound? If this is the approach that you will forever take in areas like race, religion and politics, then perhaps as citizens who have a stake in the future of our nation, we should reconsider the people steering at the helm.

Does Progress presuppose Westernization?

Assalamualaikum..
It’s really been a while since I last updated my blog. Anyways below is an article written by a good friend in McGill. Hopefully you guys can read and give some comments/critique/insights etc2. Enjoy!

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Does Progress presuppose Westernization?

by Sana Khawaja Saaed*

This was a debate I engaged in for my Islamic Philosophy and Theology class. I took the side that yes – in order to progress one does need to be Western. Do I really believe this?

Also, I think Wisnovsky got the hint I am in love with Hallaq. Additionally, the piece is all over the place because I wrote it as I would have said it..flailing arms and everything.

I want to hear your thoughts on my argument and where you stand on the issue!

I am taking the position that progress does, in fact, entail westernization. In order to understand my position, I must assert something vital: Progress being defined in terms of Westernization does not make it either a good or bad thing – my argument does not revolve around this distinction. I am here to prove that progress is equivocal to westernization, and not that this is equivocation is either positive or negative

Now, onto the crux of my argument – which is to prove that progress is equivocal to modernization and modernization, in turn, is equivocal to westernization – thus in order to progress it is necessary to westernize
Alright, so, let’s first see how progression and modernity or modernization match up: So, what is modernity? It’s a general reference term to the modern period which spans the 16th century up until the 19th. During this period we see the rise of certain political ideas such as the importance of individual liberties, capitalism, as a result, the emergence of the nation state, technology and science taking on a greater role, industrialization and as a result rapid urbanization, as well as the transformation of war – all a result of this dictatorship of reason – meaning a result of when complete cold human reason, logic and the like are put upon a pedestal above all else – where religion once dominated, reason came to dominate (Gellner, Benedict Anderson).

This is essentially how the modern era is defined; it held such periods as the renaissance and the enlightenment, as well as several revolutions (Russian, French) – all names indicative of change for the better, or progression as we have discussed in the past, we see the distinction between the modern and the medieval; how scholars, as well as specialists in other fields, ran from anything associated with the Medieval period, referred to still as the Dark Ages – even today there is this negative connotation with the word “Medieval.”
Thus, there was this movement forward, so to speak – a progression defined in terms of creating ways to live life better – in both the public and private realms – so, what’s better for the individual, what’s better for the community, the arts, politics, etc

Alright, so, think about what we define as “progress” today – what words, concepts, ideas and such come to mind? Let’s think of governance, what defines good governance? A good government which provides for its people, fair distribution of resources (education, health, welfare, etc), which is able to protect its citizenry, able to sustain stability within its politics and its economy, one which is able to, essentially, protect against violence in a given territory. Good governance is also made possible through an effective bureaucracy – an apparatus which assists the state in its governance.

modernity is sexy.

Democracy as a system of governance is pretty popular – Liberal Democracy is another step, albeit less accepted. However the general discourse, scholastic and populist, holds that democracy is, essentially awesome. A government which upholds the so-called universally accepted human rights and liberties is considered a good government .

We can safely say that there is a Western dominance in the world – the greatest powers for the past couple of centuries have been Western nations such as Britain, France, and, more recently, the United States of America. The West is what it is given the impact of the modern era. Given the hegemonic dominance of the West, it dictates world morality and ethics – there are standards which exist for determining right and wrong, standards put in place by the dominant culture — what we consider good today, is largely reflective of the impact of the West – it’s values, it’s mores, etc.

The greatest consolidating factor of all these values and ideas has been the Nation State which has not only allowed for these ideas and values to persist but assisted in their creation. So the nation state is both the creator as well as the most powerful product of the modern era. Of course, it’s imperative that I mention here that the previous ideas of good governance are not, obviously, exclusive to the West – it’s about how these ideas have manifested themselves. Many, if not most, of the underlying principles are similar to other cultures, however the manifestations of these is what is different

Anyway, I could go on forever about modernity – but to sum up my points, modernity is specific to Western culture – it defined over 400 years of intellectual, political, artistic, social thought. This thought has come to define what we today identify as the West. Through imperialism and colonialism, as well as less violent and coercive means, the Western nations were able to assert these particular ideas elsewhere in the world – so what we have today is the hegemony of these ideas, and these ideas which were considered progressive are what define progress – thus, to progress is to modernize and modernization is westernization – hence progress requires westernization.

As my colleague will argue/has argued – progress and modernization do not belong only to the West. This is true – Islam can have its own modernity if we are defining modernity as something which is different than what came before. However, that’s an extremely broad understanding of modernity and we need to understand it as how it is and not how it can, possibly, maybe, who knows be

Professor Wael Hallaq, in Can the Shari’ah be Restored, says most poignantly: Modernity is not only technology and science, Hollywood, McDonald’s, and Calvin Klein jeans but also: psychology, an ethic, a set of values, an epistemology, and, in short, a state of mind and a way of life. Modernity is here to stay, at least for a long time to come.

Like prof. Hallaq says – modernity is a way of life, and for Muslims Islam is a way of life. Islam flourished under a completely different type of modernity – it was modern as it brought something new to the Arabs, just as the enlightenment brought Europe out of the Dark Ages, Islam brought the Arabs out of jahiliyya.

So, it is, in and of itself, a modern paradigm – however it encountered another modern paradigm a couple of hundred of years ago, and this “other” modern paradigm was able to penetrate Islam’s culture. The core of Islamic civilization was its culture which allowed for the flourishing of education, social welfare, governance, communal living, relationships, justice and the like – there was a decentralized but connected culture in which God was God and government was government – there was no modern state with its all encompassing penetrative capabilities – meaning, there was no omnipotent omniscient state. That job was left up to God. The modernity which dominates today was the paradigmatic shift in European thought and life – this has created a culture antithetical not to Islam in and of itself, but rather the culture – the state of mind – which allowed Islam and Islamic civilizations to flourish.

Just a really good example of my point: Japan –A country which modernized, rapidly industrialized and today is a first world state – however, while it is doing well on the political and economic levels, if we look at the domestic situation we’ll find a broken culture of sorts – much of Japan’s traditional culture was left behind, with only private and superficial remnants remaining – at least in the urban areas.

We are now living in the post-modern period; a period of reevaluation – which is allowing us to look back on what modernity has brought us and what’s worked and what hasn’t.

So, that is progress. That is modernity. And that is westernization. Progress entails modernization which entails Westernization – and it’s up to you to decide whether this is a good thing or a bad thing.

Quote from Hallaq: The question that today’s Muslims must answer is to what extent they are willing to subscribe to modernity and to adopt its products. To reject it completely is obviously out of the question: modernity, we have said, is not merely a material phenomenon but primarily one that effected a systematic restructuring of psychology and epistemology, among many other things. Accordingly, if they were to adopt of it what suits them, what is to be adopted? If commercial, corporate, and other business laws are to be adopted, as they have and as they must, can Muslims do so while escaping the snares of usurious interest?66 If they are to join the other nations in signing human rights charters and conventions, as they have, can they, or are they willing to, enact religious laws that grant theirreligious minorities an equal status? If the education of women has become an essential feature of their society, can the religious law forge for the Muslim woman a commensurate status compatible with her new role in society? If this status were to be accorded, can this law, while maintaining its intellectual and religious integrity, deal with the implications and consequences of this new role? And if all this were to take place, how are the revealed texts to be interpreted?

*Sana is an Honours Student doing a double major in Political Science and Middle East Studies. Currently in her Fourth Year, Sana actively writes for the McGill Daily having her own column in the school’s student based paper. The blog owner would like to wish Sana all the best in her future endeavors and may Allah keep her sane. Stay awesome Sana!

the return..

Assalamualaikum..
Alhamdulillah.. I arrived in sunny Singapore last week (7th Jan night) at almost midnight. From sub zero temperatures to 30 degrees Celcius, it was a refreshing change. Not that I hate Montreal’s weather like Isty in the first place. Good thing is that I didn’t suffer from jet lag, just perhaps tired for the lack of sleep but acclamatised myself after one day. So that was good. Then there was the crazy bidding exercise that ensued, followed by lepak sessions with members and spending time with family and suddenly I find myself back to NUS. It feels surreal. Eh, dah start skola balik eh. It’s as if I don’t want school to ever start. Studying in McGill was fun indeed.

I somehow feel detached. It’s like the 4 mths in Montreal couldn’t fit in to what I was before. I lost 4 months with friends but I gained 4 months of experience. I hope that counts for so much more. I feel kind of left out from a lot of things that have been going on with my friends. The inside jokes, the working together in CS comm. I wished I was together with them and have fun. Biasa ah semua nak buat.

Coming back from Montreal makes me realise something. That I really miss it. I miss the place, the people, the school, the life I had over there. And I feel that my stay in Singapore is only temporary, and that I am going to go back to Montreal real soon. I have to get that feeling out of my system but somehow perasaan ni betul-betul mendesak. And I am seriously considering of studying there or somewhere in North America.

And studying under Hallaq has inspired me to do Sharia’. Ok, at least I am considering of doing it. Actually bila pikir2 balik aku pon tak tau apa aku nak buat. Any ideas anyone?? and Isty, if you’re reading this, you wanna return to McGill?

I need to change..

I AM OUTRAGED!!

SHAME ON YOU ISRAEL! SHAME ON YOU!

However you look at it, nothing is justified. I try to be fair and honest and understand your situation. But nothing, NOTHING justifies this forced entry upon Ghaza.

1 Israeli life = 100+ Palestinian lives??

What crap!

“The goal is to try and take over some of the those launching areas that were responsible for the many launches, thousands of launches in fact, toward Israeli civilians,” she said. “The civilians are not our target. We are looking only after militants. Hamas militants.” – Israeli military spokeswoman Maj. Avital Leibovich.

Yeah sure. and all those 460 Palestinians were militants right? You build a wall surrounding the West Bank. You barricade your territory. You impose blockade on goods. You limit basic necessities. This is not protecting your land damn it! This is a purge. A genocide. An ethnic genocide.

And you oh Israeli leaders, you are no worse than Hitler was against the Jews. Yes you people who cry foul against heinous acts against the Jews are doing exactly what you were against.

And where is our dearest ‘big brother’, Capt. America? Having power to control the world yet silent against this injustice. Oh can speak against Chinese records on human rights but cannot comment on this. Can impose sanctions on N.Korea but can’t do anything about this? Where are your eyes oh brother? Oh wait, you don’t have a heart. And may I add perhaps not a brain too?

It’s high time UN resolution becomes legally binding. And not just security council resolutions. You hear me Ban Ki-moon?

attention!

with immediate effect, my canadian number has ceased to exist..

please reach me via email or through my S’pore number..

back in Montreal..

Assalamualaikum…

Alhamdulillah.. Finally, after 12 days of travel, I have safely arrived in Montreal. Loads of pictures to load but I figured it might be too much for me to put on this blog. Will do it when I have the time. Alternatively, will show to you guys when I return to Singapore. To readers who think they might not be able to see me, email me and I’ll try to send you a link or something. No2 I won’t put on facebook. Too public a domain.

Arrived in Montreal at 9 am, after a sore 9 hrs journey from Toronto. The last I posted was when I was in Philly. After Philly we went to New York. NY was a blast. Really. Eye-opening, fun, loads of entertainment. Reminded of Singapore + double the fun perhaps. Spent about 3-4 days in NYC. Then went on to Toronto to attend the RIS Convention. RIS is Reviving Islamic Spirit. Alhamdulillah managed to learn a lot from scholars like Prof Tariq Ramadan, Dr Tariq Suwaidan, Prof Abd Hakim Murad (Sherman Jackson), Syeikh Hamza Yusuf and a whole lot of others. Was more of a spiritually uplifting journey more than an intellectual one but nonetheless I still enjoyed it. Isty and Dedi left Toronto the night of the 28th for NYC cos their flight from NYC. Travelled alone for 2 days. Walked around Toronto the first day then went to Niagara Falls the next. Oklah, bukannya hebat sangat Niagara Falls. Memang lah lawa tapi aku rasa waktu summer mungkin lagi lawa. Bukan ada apa2 sangat. Ni pergi setakat untuk cakap ‘ah2 dah gi sana’. It was a day trip and returned in the evening before catching my bus to Montreal. Might be driving up to Quebec City on Friday for a short trip with the Malaysians. Insya Allah.

Have you ever wondered what it’s gonna be like if you could turn back time? If you could change the things that you once did? If you could change the course of your life? If you could prevent the mistakes that you’ve done? No2, I’m not regretting the things that I have done. Oklah mungkin adelah benda2 yang remeh temeh tu tapi aku rasa aku bersyukur dengan apa yang telah aku lalui sama ada baik atau buruk. Keadaan dan pengalaman mencorak seseorang dan aku tak mungkin menjadi aku seandainya aku tak melalui apa yang aku lalui. Sometimes you hear people say, ‘oh I regret doing this, I regret doing that’ or ’should have done this’, ‘wasted, if only I knew’. I used to be like that. I used to regret not studying well in secondary school, being thrown to the only express class doing D&T (to those who forget, Design & Technology), not being able to do Chemistry, something that I like so much, not being able to do triple science so that I could be a surgeon. In Sec 3 & 4, I was thinking what the hell am I going to do in life? Ok, maybe jadi cikgu ok jugak. Ada jugak berbakti pada orang. Then I went on to JC, kept up with my pace in secondary school and almost found myself with just a piece of A level cert. Almost. Mungkin Allah masih sayang. Just before I received my results, all I was thinking was, retake A’s or go Madinah? But Alhamdulillah, Allah paved the way for me to be in NUS.

And then here I am in Montreal. Being able to study in McGill. To learn from the best profs in the world. Ok maybe not the best best but at least up there. The experience, masya Allah. I can’t start to describe. After I wrote my previous blog, many thought I didn’t want to come back to Singapore. If I was all alone and no family and friends that I hold dear in my heart then that would be the option. But there’s always the people you love that you can’t bear to leave. It’s not that I don’t want to come back. I do. But I also hope that I am able to return back here again. The grass is always greener on the other side. But I hope to go there, get the grass and bring it back to Singapore. I hope I would be one of the fore runners of change. Doakanlah semoga saudaramu ini menjadi pemangkin menjana masyarakat Melayu yang bervisi dan berfikiran maju serta berdaya saing di pentas dunia. I hope that I am able to create that reform that we direly need. The re-formation of a community that has been long overdue. Not just adaptation reform but transformation reform based on the Quran & Sunnah. Insya Allah! And as cliche as it might seem, ‘we are the change that we have been waiting for- (Obama 2008)’. So my dear friends, family and readers, please doa for me. Please pray that Allah gives me the strength, commitment, time, barakah, maghfirah, health, intellect, spiritual and emotional steadiness and may Allah bless me, my family, my friends and those that are together with me in this journey. And as an added bonus (lagi2 utk Ibu & Ayah), doakanlah anakmu ini dapat isteri yang solehah. Kalau dapat carikan lagi best!

So, to all those who are regretting the things that they do, it’s ok to do so. But only for a while. Move on. Life has to go on. Stop wallowing in the depth of self-pity for the sun is still shining. Seize the day for you never know when it’s gonna end. Regret and seek forgiveness for your mistakes and sins. But move on. For Allah is the Most Forgiving, Most Merciful and He’ll not burden upon you what you’ll not be able to bear.

I met a lot of youths when I was in Toronto as I was staying in a backpackers hostel. These people come from all over the world. Germany, England, US, Japan etc2. But what strikes me the most is their spirit to travel and see the world. They work and travel at the same time, to be able to gain experience. And some of this people I really admire. Like this guy Tom (such a common and random name but that’s what he said) whom I met who came from Philly. He spent 10 months in Korea just to teach English. It wasn’t for any personal gain, but he did that just to be involved in the community elsewhere. And then there is the RIS which is a massive convention for North American Muslims that’s organised by youths. And here I am thinking what the hell am I still doing cooped up not doing anything? We need to be citizens of the world. To be more proactive in life. And where better to start then our own Muslim community in Singapore. Sebelum merangkak takkan nak berlari kan. So I urge my Muslim brothers and sisters to work hand in hand and to create an impact. Idealistic? Maybe, but at least that’s something that I want to see at least before I die. It is POSSIBLE. Others have done it, why not us. I look at myself and I know I get it easy. Aku taulah bapak aku sayang sama aku, mungkin pasal tu lah aku belum merasai kesusahan sebagaimana dia telah rasakan. Only with difficulty will you know what easy means.  A random pakcik I met at the convention asked me ‘Do you know why Allah created evil?’ And then it struck me. Ah2 eh? Mungkin kerana Allah nak kita gunakan akal yang Dia berikan untuk membezakan yang hak dan batil? Ataupun mungkin.. and then he gave me this answer. ‘Allah created evil so man appreciates the value of good‘. Subhanallah. He told me that things appear in duality, like morning and night, good and bad, sickness and health so that man understands that he is limited. No matter how great he is, what success he has achieved, he has limitations set upon him. May Allah bless this man for his kindness to remind me of who I am and where I stand.

I’m returning home soon. Insya Allah. But if I don’t, please carry on my aspirations.

One more thing, PLEASE PRAY FOR OUR MUSLIM BROTHERS AND SISTERS THAT HAVE FALLEN IN GAZA. May Allah stop all the crimes and injustice upon them and may Allah restore peace and order in Palestine.

and to my mom and dad. I miss you.

in Philly..

Assalamualaikum..

Alhamdulillah.. I’ve alreday reached Philadelphia after spending about 2 days in Washington D.C. Washington was a very scenic place to go. Very historical at the same time as it documents the history of America. Managed to get a glimpse of the White House. Glimpse because we were unable to enter the grounds. Apparently one could do so if you registered under a tour and booked in advance. Anyhows, most museums in Washington was free. Very informative, engaging and interesting. Wanted to spend more time at the Air and Space Museum but had to leave before I managed to finish cos the place was already closing. Managed to get pictures here and there. Insya allah will try to post up once I got everything downloaded to my thumbdrive. Reached Philly today around 3. checked in to the hotel, had dinner (Alhamdulillah halal food easier to get compared to Washington), walked around abit near the parks. Couldn’t do much cos most places close at 5 or 6. Darn winter! People here rather friendly. Had dessert of waffles and ice cream and cos they were about to close, they gave us free goodies. Thank you!

Am travelling around with Isty, Dedi (also NUS exchange student) and Abla (exchange student from Newcastle, England.. no2 she’s not a Geordie, she’s a Man U fan.. hahaha).. I wish my friends were here. I bet we could have had lots of fun.

As the days slowly go by, the clock is ticking down to my return. Hati berbelah bagi antara nak balik dengan tanak.. Kalau tanak pon nak tanak kene balik jugak.. I have been really enjoying myself here. Travelling around and looking at places helps widen and enrich your experience..Betullah pepatah Melayu, ‘Jauh perjalanan, Luas pemandangan’.. I’m really reluctant about going home.I find myself settling perfectly in. Here I have the opportunity to be involved in a lot of things, local and global. I realised people here (especially Canada) are always involved in things that are going around the world. I have course mates going to Kenya, Ethiopia, parts of Africa to do fieldwork and also be involved in social activities over there. And with social I mean doing community work.

I managed to catch the movie ‘Seven Pounds’ and if there was something that I could share it was the act of being selfless. About giving and NEVER to expect anything in return. To the point of sacrificing one’s self. It’s hard I must admit to give without expecting anything. Things such as ‘networking’ for example is just another way of saying ‘let me get to know you lest I might need you for something’. There seems to be no sincerity in maintaining a friendship. No sincerity in putting in that extra effort for someone. and even if one tries to do so, the other party might start to doubt. ‘eh asal dia ni tak aleh2 ni mcm, ada ape2 ke?’. Worst still, ‘Baik? Baik ada makna tu..’

Being away sometimes make you tend to accept readily things at face value. When people start telling you things, you start to believe, pass judgements without even going to the source and finding about the truth. To the point that you start to doubt and then you start to sow seeds of hatred. Sometimes you hear things that make you angry, upset, disappointed, betrayed cos you are too quick to judge. ‘Apabila datang kepada kamu orang fasik membawa berita, maka seldikilah‘..I’m not saying yang bawa berita tu org fasik but there is always two sides to a coin. Perhaps you need to listen to both sides before coming to conclusions. And even if you can’t make a conclusion, pray that the truth would one fine day emerge. Tapi seandainya yg benar itu akan mengaibkan orang  lain berdoalah semoga Allah menutupi keaiban itu.

On one part I can’t wait to get back home, to see my family and friends, but sometimes you just wish you could run away from facing reality. It seems that everything is surreal over here. I have to constantly tell myself that I’m on exchange in Canada. But sometimes you wish you never left..

quick update

I’ll be going off to US from tonight (10 am Singapore time)..

If there is anything please call at my Canadian number @ +1 514 746-1069

OR

Singapore number: +65 96180271

Will be bringing along both phones..

perjuangan hidup..

Assalamualaikum..

naik sedap pulak blogging2 ni.. hahaha.. masalahnya, timing salah.. Islamic Philosophy and Theology paper lagi 2 hari, tapi aku masih sempat lagi nak tulis entry dalam blog.. nasib baik S/U.. harap2 lah S.. jangan buat pasal dapat U..

so I woke up yet another day to a white Montreal. The excitement of seeing snow cascading upon the roofs of buildings and streets and walkways and cars and people have slowly dissipated. Beautiful, calming yet bland and boring. It’s true that you never appreciate what you have till you ain’t have it. You slowly start to miss colours, warmth, vibrancy, noise etc. Downtown Montreal becomes a ghost town after 10pm. Since exams are in progress McGill seems quiet after 6. Students either rush home after their papers or pour over their notes. I guess it’s not much different in Singapore and Canada eh? Students are still mugging like crazy everywhere you go. Oh well, that’s student life.

Student life is all about books, thoughts, ideas, beliefs, anti-theses, laughter, joy, friends and maybe a tad here and there some girls/drinking/marijuana/poker etc (bukan orang Singapore, orang Simei). One can either choose to go through this life using it to the fullest by being involved in everything or choose to distant one’s self and recluse into the life of a study hermit. Alhamdulillah, I am thankful that my university life has been a tad colourful. Of course there is a lot more that I wish I can achieve. Waaaay more, but at least I know, it is these experiences and knowledge that I gain from that I pray will insya Allah be beneficial.

I guess, sometimes people worry too much. Worried that they won’t get this, won’t score for that. My advice, chill. Relax. Take a breather. Step back and appreciate the opportunities that have been laid there for you. Chill, a word that when I tell McGill students they tell me I’m crazy and they got no time. Perhaps, people have not yet learned to appreciate knowledge as it is. Me included. I realised that when I study, it is for the sake of doing well. Ok maybe so that I can use it for the betterment of society later on but that should not be the ultimate goal. I am beginning to force myself to appreciate knowledge, doesn’t matter from who but what is being said. To try and understand perspectives, thoughts and ideologies. To gain as much insights as possible so that I can use this knowledge that I have to uplift my ummah. In anyway possible. So my friends, take pride in what you do. Learn to love it and insya Allah it will love you back. Hey, no one said it was easy. I know people in Engineering are complaining that the workload is heavy. Yeah, no doubt. But wouldn’t it be satisfying when you know that what you learn can benfit someone. Even if it is only one person.

I am blessed with friends who I know when I fall will carry me. Proven in JC. Literally. (aku tau aku berat, tapi ka-Wannya pasal, boleh lah cik). I know I got their backs and they got mine. And I pray that one day I WILL be proud to say, “Oh Mufti tu member aku. Sejak dari JC dia yang banyak beri tunjuk ajar” or ” Tu Engineer yang reka plan tu ah member aku. Dulu memang dia biasa complain susah, tapi kau tengok berapa berjaya dia sekarang” or ” scientist yang jumpa cure for cancer? tu kawan ketawa”, “world economist yang affect policy dunia tu lah sahabat dunia akhirat” dan ketika itu aku berharap aku sedang mengemudi bahtera perubahan minda masyarakat sedunia. Angan-angan. Pasti. tapi setiap yang terjadi itu bermula dengan angan-angan. Kerana esok adalah impian yang dijadikan wawasan buat visi masa depan.

And then there are also people who you met, for a fleeting moment, but these people create a significant impact in your life. Even though they think they are not. To those people who I have met, never think you are insignifiant. Never feel that your presence have not affected someone, for sometimes realisation doesn’t come immediately. For all you know 10,2o years down the road, someone would come up to you and say, thank you for that piece of advice you gave me back then. People are too quick to put themselves down and say they are just another face among the crowd or someone who is easily dismissed by everyone. If you think you are that kind of person, then you are. So what the hell are you waiting for? Make yourself heard. For your existence in this world has a purpose. Find that purpose. Hold your head up high (but make sure you look at where you’re going).

Life’s tough, but if you think you’re the only one going through it, look around. Don’t be disheartened by criticism or failures. They’re not stumbling blocks, they’re stepping stones.

لَا يُكَلِّفُ ٱللَّهُ نَفۡسًا إِلَّا وُسۡعَهَا‌ۚ لَهَا مَا كَسَبَتۡ وَعَلَيۡہَا مَا ٱكۡتَسَبَتۡ‌ۗ

“Allâh burdens not a person beyond his scope. He gets reward for that (good) which he has earned, and he is punished for that (evil) which he has earned”

So my friends, do not despair. Learn to chill. Learn to smile. Learn to appreciate. And learn to syukur.

To those who think that their life is not meaningful or they are not important or they seem to be non-existent, look again, you must be missing something. Siapa makan cili, dia lah terasa pedasnya. Siapa makan gula, dia lah rasa manisnya. Rest assured that in some way or another, no matter how small it is, your existence has been meaningful.

Perjuangan ini,

tidak akan nampak garis ufuknya,

tidak akan nampak titik noktahnya,

selagi mana akal dibelenggu

selagi mana hati masih beku.

Ya Allah, kuatkanlah pemuda pemudi Islam. Jadikanlah kami jentera penggerak nadi ummah. Jangan Kau biarkan kami terus dibuai lena mimpi indah. Jadikanlah kami orang yang berguna di dunia dan berjaya di akhirat. Berkatilah perjuangan hidup kami ini. Berkatilah kedua ibu bapa kami, sahabat-sahabat kami, guru-guru kami serta saudara-saudara seagama kami. Tegakkanlah syiar Islam ya Allah, dan jadikanlah kami orang-orang yang Engkau redhai.

Sahabat-sahabatku, andai aku gugur sebelum perjuanganku selesai, jadilah penggantiku.

Assalamualaikum

*this has been a nonsensical post. kalau exam rabak, taulah aku nak salahkan siapa. bukan blog ni, diri akulah!